Perfectionism, Aspirationalism, and Authenticity as a Catholic Online

For a long time, the “right” way to be online was to be perfect. But now, the landscape online is shifting towards authenticity. So where do Catholics fit in?

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Social media is constantly changing. For a long time, the “right” way to be online was to be perfect. Perfect house, clothes, face, body, hobbies, kids, etc. For the people posting their “perfect” lives, they become mythologized by viewers—the gold standard of a life well lived. We viewers then aspire to be like them, highlighting every single one of the imperfections getting in our way.

Perfectionism enters the chat. 

We begin to mirror the habits of the “perfect” influencers. Our feeds may start including pictures of acai bowls, kids in clean clothes with cheeky smiles, or a perpetually clean home that looks like it’s straight out of Architectural Digest. More and more people also start to perfect their feeds as influencers become celebrities. We then begin to feel the pressure to mimic our friends who are presenting their highlight reels just so we match the tone of our community. It’s only natural after all. 

But this creates pressure. Lots of pressure. Most of the time, we don’t even realize the effect it has on us. People stop posting their silly videos or candid photos because it doesn’t “match their aesthetic” (anyone remember VSCO girls??). Some people stop posting at all because they don’t feel like anything is worth sharing. They just become observers. 

The funny part is that almost all of us lose sight of the fact that this “perfect” image is a full-time job for these influencers. It’s their job to film their life. So, the more full their life is, the more content they have. They aren’t going to a job from 9 to 5, so working out, crafting, cleaning, cooking three healthy meals a day, running errands, doing an aesthetic activity, journaling, meditating, going to daily Mass—all of these things are possible for them because LIFE is the job. Not only that, but this job may provide them with the resources and team to keep this image and lifestyle up. 

But now, the landscape online is shifting. We the audience, the viewers, the consumers, we don’t want to see shiny happy people. We want relatability. Vulnerability. We want to see how behind your perfect post you are a real, breathing human being who is as complicated and imperfect as the rest of us. 


Thus was created *the authenticity movement*.

We are back to showing funny fails, imperfect moments, BTS of how stuff gets made, highlighting the real story behind a post, showing off the realistic view of your body or makeup, and (because of TikTok) seeing a huge increase in sharing our stories.

If you are already an influencer, take a look at your feed and ask yourself these questions:

Am I creating an illusion of perfectionism? 

Am I staging or altering moments too often for a post?

Am I making faith aspirational instead of being real with it? 

Am I creating a space that lets others idolize me? 

Do I care too much about what other people think? 

Am I afraid to be honest about how I am doing?

If you aren’t an influencer, take a look at who you follow and ask yourself these questions:

Do I put this influencer on a pedestal or compare myself to them? 

Do I find them helpful or hurtful? 

Why do I want to follow this influencer? Is that well-ordered? 

What does this influencer do that I can also do?

Do you think all these posts reflect the truth of the moment?

So, where do Catholics fit in this mess?

We need Catholic influencers! That doesn’t just mean people intentionally trying to make it their job and get brand deals, but even the everyday Catholic who posts regularly. 

For those of you who want to be influencers but think you can’t be because you don’t have a perfect home or clean kids or lots of money or a hot body or whatever perfections you think you should have, reflect on whether God is calling you to be present online for Him. 

We have the unique responsibility to be in the world but not of it. We need faithful people who care about Christ and are unafraid to be themselves online. But you do have to be yourself. You can’t pretend to be someone you are not. 

Pope St. John Paul II said, “It is clear, then, that while the Internet can never replace that profound experience of God which only the living, liturgical and sacramental life of the Church can offer, it can certainly provide a unique supplement and support in both preparing for the encounter with Christ in community, and sustaining the new believer in the journey of faith which then begins.”

Ultimately, it isn’t our job to convert people or force the culture to mold to our Christian wishes. It is up to us to show up and be authentic, Christian people who love God even if we do it imperfectly. Most importantly, we need to heed the words of Christ in the Gospel: “Do not be afraid.”

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